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Kellen Moore: The Movie

By Mike Payton

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Due to the outcry of fans around the world, Kellen Moore has become one of the NFL’s most popular players. In fact he’s become so popular that Orion Pictures (the same studio that brought you classics like Robocop and Dances with Wolves) has decided to option Kellen Moore’s tale as a full length feature film and has signed on Academy Award winning director Ron Howard to direct.

After some excellent investigative reporting by yours truly, I’ve uncovered both the plot and the actors that have already been attached to the picture. Let’s check it out.

Sep 8, 2013; Detroit, MI, USA; Detroit Lions quarterback Kellen Moore (17) during the game against the Minnesota Vikings at Ford Field. Mandatory Credit: Tim Fuller-USA TODAY Sports

Synopsis

Kellen Moore is a young quarterback looking for a chance to thrive in the NFL. Despite legendary pre-season performances, Kellen just can’t seem to get a chance. Until one day he his tipped off by an anonymous drifter who let’s him know that the reasons he hasn’t got the chance to succeed goes a lot deeper than he ever imagined. Now Kellen Moore is in a race against time to thwart the sinister plots of an evil commissioner that’s drunk with power, and his evil side arm throwing protegé Matthew Stafford. Will Kellen Moore overcome? 

Wow, that’s pretty deep stuff. My understanding is that the film is loosely based on the true story uncovered by the same guy that started the famous #FreeKellenMoore. His character is unnamed at this point. But he has been casted. Let’s take a look at who else has been casted in Ron Howard’s next masterpiece.

The Cast

Jesse Plemons

You may remember Jesse Plemmons the most from his work on

Breaking Bad

. Plemmons seems like an interesting choice at first, but looking back at his work you can see that he clearly has the football acumen to play Kellen moore. After all, he holds the distinct honor of appearing in both Varsity Blues and

Friday Night Lights

the series.

Reginald VelJohnson

This is a shocking move by the casting director. But its brilliant at the same time. In the same vain as mickey Rourke in The Wrestler, an aging actor makes his huge comeback in an award worthy film. VelJohnson was recently seen on TMZ being asked about his old show Family Matters. After Kellen Moore the movie hit theaters, Family Matters won’t matter so much anymore.

Haley Joel Osment

No surprise here. Osment and Matthew Stafford have been compared to each other for years. Despite a lengthy hiatus from film, Osment broke out in this summers hit movie Entourage. Playing a Texan in Entourage should definitely prepare Osment to play Texas native Matthew Stafford. The good news is, you won’t have to worry about Matthew Stafford seeing dead people in this feature.

Michael B. Jordan as Calvin Johnson

Dec 1, 2013; New York, NY, USA; American actor Michael B Jordan and director Spike Lee at the game between the New York Knicks and the New Orleans Pelicans at Madison Square Garden. New Orleans Pelicans won 103-99. Mandatory Credit: Anthony Gruppuso-USA TODAY Sports

Michael B. Jordan is no stranger to the football field. He played a rising star quarterback in Friday Night Lights. Jordan is the perfect choice to play Calvin Johnson as he shows off his athletic prowess in Friday Night Lights and the upcoming Rocky spin-off Creed. The only issue is that Jordan isn’t quite tall enough for the role.

Kevin Spacy as Roger Goodell

Sep 9, 2013; New York, NY, USA; Movie actor Kevin Spacey in attendance at the match between Rafael Nadal (ESP) Novak Djokovic (SRB) in the men

If you’ve ever seen a Kevin Spacey film, then you know he is perfect for this role. Just watch his work on House of Cards and you will see. Kevin Spacey being the actor he is, there’s no denying that he will bring credibility to this film and his performance as NFL commissioner Roger Goodell.

Nicolas Cage as The Stranger

At this point the actors in this film could get together and build a small house out of their Academy Awards and Golden Globes. Nicolas Cage really adds another layer to this film as The Stranger. There rumors out that his appearance in this film will directly link the film to the National Treasure Series.

Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

We like to have fun here at SideLion Report. I’m sorry to inform Kellen Moore fan’s that this is nothing more than a farce. The love for Kellen Moore is quite similar to the love of Tim Tebow. He has his own fan club and his own hashtag on Twitter. You would think that Kellen Moore is the second coming of Johny Unitas by the way fans hold him up.

We will see soon enough where Kellen Moore will sit on the Detroit Lions depth chart. Until then, be sure to laugh a little out there.

Next: Behind Enemy Lines: NFC North fans share their P.O.V.

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