The Detroit Lions' preseason kickoff went just as expected: with eight fumbles between the two teams, an interception off the helmet of Isaac TeSlaa, and some late game Dan Campbell trickery that almost led to some late game heroics at the hands of UDFA Luke Altmyer. Oh, and a Lions loss.
So basically, it offered everything you'd ever want out of a meaningless football game on a Thursday night. If you didn't watch, you definitely missed out.
But, enough trying to make you feel bad about having a normal sleep schedule - this is meant to be a means of reading about who popped off the page for the Lions if you didn't catch the game, and if you did, this is a refresher for what went down in the loss.
4 winners (and 3 losers) from Lions' first preseason game
Winner: Ahmed Hassanein
I mean, could you go with anyone else to top this list?
Hassanein did an excellent job of capping off a few weeks of great outings at training camp with two sacks, two quarterback hits, and two tackles for loss. He was consistently a pest for the Bengals to have to deal with, and part of why some Cincinnati fans might've been screaming through their screen to get Joe Burrow off the field.
The late draft pick from last year is certainly pushing for a roster spot this season, and he has a great case right now. He needed a great start to the preseason to firmly place him in the conversation to be backing up one of Aidan Hutchinson or DJ Wonnum, and he did just that.
Loser: Isaac TeSlaa
TeSlaa has been experiencing the typical sophomore slump so far in training camp per multiple reports, and that slump seems to have carried over into this first preseason game. He was essentially WR1 with both Jameson Williams and Amon-Ra St. Brown not playing in this one, and he wasn't exactly reliable for Altmyer. He had two big drops, with one leading to an interception.
TeSlaa finished up the night with zero receptions, which is not what you want to see when he was targeted a few times by both Altmyer and Josh Dobbs. He'll need a great bounce back against the Washington Commanders if he wants to stay in the conversation to start at WR3.
Winner: Jacob Saylors
Saylors felt like one of very few players on offense that actually showed up for this game. He finished up with 55 rushing yards on eight carries, as well as 28 receiving yards on three receptions. Saylors also averaged 6.9 yards per carry. He showed off a lot of his craftiness when cutting through open running lanes, and his strength popped off the screen as he managed to break through a few tackles throughout the contest.
Jahmyr Gibbs is obviously RB1, and Isiah Pacheco is likely RB2, barring his injury being more serious than initially reported. But, Saylors is pushing Pacheco a bit with a performance like this, and is certainly going to make Sione Vaki very nervous about his standing on the Lions roster moving forward.
Loser: Miles Frazier
Frazier was in the game the entire time, mostly at left guard but with some sprinkles at left tackle. To be honest, he looked a heck of a lot more comfortable at left tackle later in the game than he did at left guard, which should inform the Lions coaching staff about where Frazier fits in best moving forward.
Still, three penalties - with two back to back on a drive - are not going to help his case to stay in the starting unit for the offensive line. His only saving grace might be that Christian Mahogany didn't look much better.
Winner: Keith Abney II
Abney's tackling has been a focal point since he was taken by the Lions in the 5th round of this year's draft. While his size might make turnover generation a little hard to come by in coverage, he's still a great defender in the open field and can stop plays from getting too explosive.
We saw that skill on full display in this contest, with Abney finishing up his night with four solo tackles and five tackles total. Hit stick will probably be the best way to describe him this season, assuming he sticks on the 53-man roster.
Loser: Christian Mahogany
As mentioned, Frazier's night might've been under an even bigger microscope had Mahogany not also played at a subpar level. He had two drive killing penalties himself, and it didn't feel like he or Frazier were ever creating very large gaps for running backs to work with in this one. Pass protection was fine throughout the evening, but Mahogany has to clean up the penalties to remain the firm, starting LG for the Lions.
Winner: Luke Altmyer
Despite a late game turnover from Altmyer, he had great accuracy throughout the game. Detroit went to him a lot in this one over Dobbs, likely to get him as many live game reps as possible. He finished with 130 passing yards on 13 completed passes, and his one pick prior to his Hail Mary-esque throw over the middle wasn't really his fault.
Altmyer's composure and accuracy really stood out, with the UDFA fighting to remain the Lions' QB2 after Dobbs' arrival. We'll see how the Lions manage their quarterback room in their next preseason game, but it does feel like this competition is a heck of a lot more competitive than it was last year.
Winner: Blake Miller
Miller had a very quiet night - and that's a fantastic way to debut. Head coach Dan Campbell said in his postgame conference that he "never felt like my eyes were on him or Larry [Borom], and that's a good thing." Despite some worries throughout training camp that he wasn't totally up to NFL speed, he held his own for much of the evening with zero penalties.
It also felt like most of what Saylors was able to get done on the ground was thanks to the work between their tackles, so that's another kudos to Miller.
Winner: Skyler Gill-Howard
Gill-Howard needed a minute to adjust to training camp, but he's slowly becoming one of the Lions' potentially surprising roster threats this preseason. He had two quarterback hits - one chase down of Josh Johnson (yes, he's still playing!) and one pancake on Johnson after beating the Bengals' guard Jalen Rivers.
He's quite explosive once he's getting uphill, and had great motor in this contest. He has to build upon this momentum headed into training camp to keep climbing into the mind of Detroit's coaching staff as a great addition to their D-line depth.
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