The Detroit Lions Crisis: When is it safe to hope? Week 2?

A historically poor opening game by the Detroit Lions has fans reasonably taken aback. Is it one terrible game or the start of a long season? Let’s discuss.

“These are the times that try men’s souls.” When Thomas Paine penned that introduction to “The Crisis,” he discussed the hardships endured by underequipped American colonists as they pursued their freedom from England.

Detroit Lions fans, to a symbolic and much lesser extent, have endured decades, like this past Monday night, of hardship, watching what has often been a hopeless situation. What do we do as fans with the harsh start?

The Revolution blueprint won’t work here, so what are we going to do after one of the worst home opener games in Lions history? There are essentially the same two options the colonists had; stay and fight, or leave and find new territory.

Another let-down

The Detroit Lions decided Week 1 was a great time remind us why we always have doubt about the team lingering in the back of our minds. Here we are going into Week 2, the San Francisco 49’ers ahead; do we dare hope for a win? Kick in the Crotch Weekly derives its name from experiences exactly like our last outing.

The setup was that the Detroit Lions were coming off of a 9-7 campaign, had invested in running backs and offensive linemen, and the offense was supposed to help give the defense time to adjust to head coach, Matt Patricia’s system under Paul Pasqualoni. Many prognosticators had the Lions returning to the playoffs in 2018-2019.

Monday night started with what we hoped to see all game long, big plays in our favor with a rookie quarterback, Sam Darnold, on the opposite sideline. The Lions got one; Darnold threw a pick-six, and safety Quandre Diggs put the Lions up for a fleeting minute.

The Lions were tied in the third quarter for a quick minute, too. Golden Tate scored to knot the game at 17-17, but more turnovers and poor defense lead to four more touchdowns and a field goal for the Jets in the third quarter.

Detroit Lions fan’s backlash

Lions fans have a whole series of phrases, and really a whole language, revolving around the ineptitude of our football franchise. For instance, the term, “Same old Lions,” will be kicked around so many times, you’ll wish you received a penny for each time so that you could retire by this coming Sunday.

We call our mascot, a Lion, Bubbles because he is no danger to anyone, including opposing teams; his official name is Roary.

Motor City spectators tell jokes that poke fun at our loyalty and the multitude of ways we have snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. One goes like this: I want to have six Lions players be the pallbearers at my funeral, so they can let me down just one last time.

No rundown of Detroit Lion’s fans predilections for making light of the team is greater than some fans and their disdain for quarterback Matthew Stafford. They call him Stat Padford, to make light of his numbers, which have been very good, that they say never lead to wins against good teams. Stafford did nothing Monday to prove these fans wrong. His four turnovers were the biggest reason for the loss and terrible start to 2018.

What will you do?

As a true fan, although our expectations took a dive into what can only be called a chasm, we have a morbid curiosity that needs to be sated. Is this just the start of another bad season, or was it one truly horrible game?

How did this affect your expectations? We were kind of thinking a 9 or 10 win season was realistic. Let’s just say that would be extremely optimistic at this point. No one can be sure we are a .500 club, at this point.

That doesn’t mean that KITCW is going anywhere. We will commiserate together and utilize every coping mechanism we can employ to get through the year, no matter what the end. Like you, KITCW needs to vent, too.

The other option is to jump ship. We could go be a Packers, Bears, or Vikings fan. Or swear off the entire NFL, altogether. That’s not how Detroit is, though. Like what we saw from Philadelphia Eagles fans, we are going to see our team to their first Lombardi Trophy, no matter how long it takes.

Follow me on Twitter CoachKirk @mkirk2 to get more Detroit and Michigan sports content, plus I delve into other random conversations from time to time. Sorry, I didn’t do better, don’t forget to tip your waitress. Kick in the Crotch, signing off!