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Detroit Lions: Time for Jim Caldwell to channel his inner Wayne Fontes

By Payne Schanski

CHICAGO, IL - NOVEMBER 19: Head coach Jim Caldwell of the Detroit Lions watches warm-ups prior to the game against the Chicago Bears at Soldier Field on November 19, 2017 in Chicago, Illinois. (Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images)
CHICAGO, IL - NOVEMBER 19: Head coach Jim Caldwell of the Detroit Lions watches warm-ups prior to the game against the Chicago Bears at Soldier Field on November 19, 2017 in Chicago, Illinois. (Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images) /
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At 6-5 in a tough NFC, the Detroit Lions’ playoff hopes are on thin ice. Can Jim Caldwell duplicate the team’s annual late-season runs of the early 90s?

FACT: Wayne Fontes is somehow the winningest head coach in Detroit Lions franchise history.

FACT: Until Jim Caldwell wins a playoff game, Wayne Fontes is still the most successful Lions coach of the past 60 years.

QUESTION: Wayne Fontes. Really?

FACT: If the Lions don’t catch fire down the stretch, say goodbye to the playoffs.

CONCLUSION: It’s time for Jim Caldwell to channel his inner Wayne Fontes.

Learn from the Master

I first became a Lions fan during the Wayne Fontes era. All of my male relatives would make fun of the poor guy, and I guess I sort of understood why. The Lions did have some embarrassing losses in the playoffs under his watch. His nickname was ‘Care Bear’. When shown on the sidelines, he almost always had one of three facial expressions, none of which inspired much confidence:

  • Facial expression #1: I’m definitely about to cry right now.
  • Face #2: Maybe trying my best just isn’t good enough.
  • Face #3: Those neighbor kids put feces on my doorstep again and there’s nothing I can do about it.

So yeah, if people want to rag on Wayne Fontes, I’m not going to try to talk anyone out of it. That’s not the entire story though. For all of the things that Fontes wasn’t, there’s no denying one thing that he was. 

Master of the job-saving late season playoff push.

From 1991-95, the Lions reached the playoffs four times in five seasons, all requiring late season streaks to clinch a playoff berth (and ensure Fontes’s job security for at least one more year).

  • 1991- Lions close the regular season on a 6 game winning streak to finish 12-4. Momentum carries over into a playoff win over Dallas in the Silverdome.
  • 1993- Win 3 out of last 4 regular season games. Beat Green Bay on the final day of the regular season to clinch the old NFC Central division.
  • 1994- Win 4 of the last 5 to sneak in at 9-7.
  • 1995- 7 game win streak to close out the regular season, after a 3-6 start.

With the disappointing showing against Minnesota on Thanksgiving (doomed by yet another slow start), any pipe dreams of a division title this year are pretty much dashed. With a Fontes-like closing stretch, however, hopes of a playoff spot remain possible, for a few more weeks at the very least.

Jim Caldwell had better dust off his old Gin Blossoms and Green Day cassettes though. It doesn’t seem like his job is particularly at risk, but then again this is the NFL so might as well play it safe. Snap up the Starter baseball cap, lace up the Reebok pumps, maybe even play a little Oregon Trail. Anything less than four wins in the final five games just isn’t going to cut it. This one is going to require some true early 90s magic.

A few quick notes

Scoreboard-watching season- Be prepared, it’s drawing near. That special time of every NFL season where you’re cheering just as hard for a bunch of other teams to screw up as you are for your own team to win. If you’re not sure who to heavily root against, I’ll put together an official scoreboard-watching guide sometime in the next few weeks.

The NFL Playoff Machine – Clicking on that link would be a wonderful, awful idea. My recommendation is to stay away. So far this year, I’ve resisted the temptation myself and stayed away. For those unfamiliar, the Playoff Machine is a magical place where 6-10 teams sneak into the playoffs in one conference, and 12-4 can be left out in another.

If you absolutely MUST ignore my advice and waste precious hours of your life playing around on this thing, at least do me one favor. Do NOT start including tie games into your fantasy ‘what if’ outcome scenarios. I’ve said too much. I’m probably going to spend about five hours on there as soon as I finish typing this.

Next: Should the Detroit Lions sign a free agent running back?

I’ll let you know if the Lions could possibly back into the playoffs at 8-8. You know, like if the Falcons and Seahawks tie a bunch of their remaining games or something.

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