It’s that time again Detroit Lions fans. The schedule has been officially announced.
Now is the time t get together with friends and loved ones and figure out which games you’re going to next year and which days you’ll have to call in sick after a late night of drinks and Lions. It’s also that time to break down the schedule and make extremely early predictions. First let’s get the pertinent info out of the way.
The Lions only have one prime time game this year. You’ll have to wait till week 16 to see it though. The Lions will finally finish the season at home for the first time since I don’t know when. All division games are split up pretty well except for one rivalry. Let’s jump right into the stupid early predictions.
Week One: At Colts
I’ve mentioned before that I think this game will be ugly. I mean turnovers and missed passes everywhere from both Andrew Luck and Matthew Stafford. Having said that, this is a winnable first game for the Lions even if it isn’t pretty when it’s all said and done. Give me the Lions in week one.
Record (1-0)
Week Two: Vs Titans
If Lions don't drill Tennessee team starting 19.5 rookies in Week 2, it might be a long year.
— Justin Rogers (@Justin_Rogers) April 15, 2016
Justin is absolutely right. This should be a total rout in the Lions favor. At home vs a bunch of rookies and young players. If the Lions lose this game, start reading mock drafts. Give me the Lions to dominate in week two.
Record (2-0)
Week Three: At Packers
The Lions will go into the dungeon of doom right out of the gate in 2016. They won last year by what can only be described as a miracle even though they led the whole game. They tried their hardest to give it away. It was an inspirational win that started a big run for the Lions. I’m sorry though fans, I don’t think they caught lighting in a bottle. Give me the Packers in week three.
Record (2-1)
Week Four: At Chicago
Back to back road games against NFC North rivals. Should make things pretty interesting. By the way, if you haven’t noticed yet, the Lions play three of their first four on the road again. Just like last year. Yay!!! The Bears defense will put up a fight, but I must take the Lions to continue their streak by beating the Bears again. Thank god this game isn’t in week 17 as usual.
Record (3-1)
Week Five vs Eagles
The Lions will come back home in week five for rematch with a team that they dominated on thanksgiving day in 2015. By the way, this team did nothing to improve in the offseason and is working with a new head coach that really likes 30-year-old career back up Chase Daniel. There’s a good chance he’s the starter for this game. Call me a homer if you will, I’m giving the Lions another win. But trouble is brewing soon.
Record (4-1)
Week Six: Vs Rams
There’s something about the Lions vs rookie quarterbacks that scares the hell out of me. This was a game the Lions should have won last year and they put on a horrible performance. Get ready for 25 tweets about how the Lions should have drafted Aaron Donald. Because the Lions will lose this game.
Record (4-2)
Week Seven: Vs Redskins
I won’t be popular for making this call. Kirk Cousins is going to make it rain on the Lions in week seven. This has been my gut feeling for a year now. I just know this will happen and there is nothing you or I can do about it. Fans will say this is an easy win going into it. They will be wrong. Lions drop their second straight game.
Record (4-3)
Week Eight: At Texans
JJ Watt is going to hit Matthew Stafford multiple times. You can count on that, or take it to the bank or whatever. But still I see the Lions prevailing over Bock Osweiler who moves a tiny bit faster than Kellen Moore. This should be a fun one to watch though with Watt on one side and Ansah on the other.
Record (5-3)
Week Nine: At Vikings
We all remember the gang style beating that Matthew Stafford took last year when the Lions visited the Vikings. I don’t see that happening again. This game will still be a dog fight and as much as I’d like to say the Lions get their revenge, I just don’t see it happening. Lions lose another division game.
Record (5-4)
Week Eleven: Vs Jaguars
The Lions come out of the bye week with a much-needed trap game in the Jaguars. I think Bortles plays well against the Lions, but still gets hit an awful lot and throws an interception or two. That’s well right? It looks like a trap and it probably will be, but I just can’t see the Jags winning this game. Lions get a much-needed win.
Record (6-4)
Week 12: Vs Vikings, Thanksgiving day
Remember when turkey used to be a bit spoiled with the taste of defeat? The Lions and their fans haven’t felt that way since the Lions had 27 different chances to beat the Texans and still lost in 2012. Now the Vikings have to come to Detroit on their biggest day of the year and try to pull out win. It won’t happen. This rivalry splits like a wish bone in 2016. Lions give the fans another happy turkey day. Just make sure Nickelback won’t be there.
Record (7-4)
Week 13: At Saints
Lions head back to the Superdome to play the Saints for the third year in a row. Last year Stafford had arguably one of the best games of his career. The Saints are another team that did little to fix any of their situations in the offseason. Nick Fairley will get another chance to spoil things for the Lions, but the Lions will come out on top in the big easy once again.
Record (8-4)
Week 14: Vs Bears
The Lions host the Bears at home again and beat the Bears at home again. Eight straight and that’s all I’ve got to say about that. Problems are coming though.
Record (9-4)
Week 15: At Giants
This team scares me a lot. I’ll go ahead and say it right now. I may be dead wrong, but the Giants are my early dark horse Super Bowl team. This will not be a fun trip to the big apple for the Lions. Give me the Giants in a game that will probably clinch the division for them.
Record (9-5)
Week 16: at Cowboys, Monday Night
Get ready for 58 reminders of the picked up flag and two reminders that the Lions beat the Cowboys in spectacular fashion the two times before that. This game is all about the drama. Just think about this for a second Lions fans. Once Romo hurts his back again, this could very well be that chance that Kellen Moore fans keep talking about. I don’t like this game and I don;t like the Lions in prime time. Something always happens and something will happen again. Lions lose.
Record (9-6)
Week 17: Vs Packers
It all comes down to this. Finally the Lions have a week 17 game at home and not somewhere will you freeze to death in the parking lot. At 9-6 the Lions could have a chance to squeak into the playoffs with a win here. The Packers will most likely be back on top again. This game excites the hell out of me and we are so far away from seeing it. I think the with possible playoff spot on the line and Ford Field going crazy, it should be enough to lift the Lions up for a win against a Packers team that’s probably already the division champs anyways.
Final Record (10-6)
There you have it fans. There are my “so early it doesn’t even make sense” picks. I’m sure we will do this again after the draft, before training camp and after the preseason. I will never be right nor will anyone else that’s doing a piece like this. Which is everyone. Be sure to leave your comments below and feel free to come yell at me on Twitter @SLR_Mike.