32. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Aug 16, 2014; Tampa, FL, USA; Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback Mike Glennon (8) drops back to pass in the third quarter as the Miami Dolphins beat the Buccaneers 20-14 at Raymond James Stadium. Mandatory Credit: David Manning-USA TODAY Sports
If you were trying to pick the NFL uniform design most likely to appear in a bad 90’s movie that’s trying to hard to be futuristic, you’d come up with the 2014 Tampa Bay Buccaneers. The logo on the helmet is way too big, the numbers are poorly stylized, and the color scheme is mediocre at best.
The good news is the numbers are made of reflective material, in case the players need to go for a twilight jog or something.
31. Jacksonville Jaguars
Aug 14, 2014; Chicago, IL, USA; Jacksonville Jaguars cornerback Dwayne Gratz (27) reacts after being called for pass interference against the Chicago Bears during the second quarter of the preseason game at Soldier Field. Mandatory Credit: Mike DiNovo-USA TODAY Sports
The teal, black, and gold color scheme is a not-great remnant of the Jaguars’ mid-1990’s inception, but leaving the teal aside for a moment, the thing that sinks the Jags to the bottom is the terrible, terrible two-toned helmet.
I’m sure they were going for something cutting-edge, but the execution of glossy gold paint in the back and a matte black in front makes it look like they simply ran out of paint and had to get going.
As Zac pointed out to me: it’s the equivalent of a football mullet. Business in the front, party in the back.
30. Cleveland Browns
Aug 18, 2014; Landover, MD, USA; Cleveland Browns quarterback Johnny Manziel (2) warms up before the game against the Washington Redskins at FedEx Field. Mandatory Credit: Brad Mills-USA TODAY Sports
I found the Browns to be one of the most difficult uniforms to rank in the league. I give them credit for sticking to their plain, iconic look (like, say, Penn State has done in the college game), but their lack of historical franchise success and blah orange and brown combination don’t earn them as many points as it otherwise would.
Like the team they represent, these uniforms are destined to sink into the obscurity of the bottom rung.
29. Cincinnati Bengals
Aug 7, 2014; Kansas City, MO, USA; Cincinnati Bengals quarterback Matt Scott (8) runs the ball during the second half against the Kansas City Chiefs at Arrowhead Stadium. The Chiefs won 41 – 39. Mandatory Credit: Denny Medley-USA TODAY Sports
Did you know that a Bengal is a tiger? If only one of the infinity tiger stripes found on this uniform hinted to that fact. Helmet? Tiger stripes. Sleeves? Tiger stripes. Pants? Tiger stripes.
It’s like the design team only wrote one idea on the whiteboard during the brainstorming session.
Look, I get literal. I like literal. But maybe mix it up a little bit.