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Pros and Cons: Pacman Jones as a Lion


Rumors were flying late Friday afternoon regarding the Lions and Pacman Jones. According to Jones’ agent, 3 teams were interested in the controversial cornerback, one being Detroit. The Lions have denied having much interest, as they have looked into the Pacman “situation,” and decided against going further.

But when you are talking about someone as talented as Pacman Jones, the door is never closed. The Lions have been known to change their mind, as shown by the re-signing of Tatum Bell, whom all thought was done as a Lion. Their defense needs players, and loony tunes though he may be, Pacman can play.

Not one to miss out on the opportunity to do a “what if” post, I thought it might be fun to look at the pros and cons involved if the Lions pursued the stripper loving, rain making, trouble finding, yet quite talented, cornerback. I went with cons first, as that is how any argument about the plausibility of Jones coming to Detroit would begin…

Another Detroit selling point: The Detroit PD have long
been well known for their talented mug shot photographers

Con: Loves to frequent strip clubs.
Pro: If Pacman could “make it rain” just once a week, it’s a better economic stimulus package for SE MI than anything the government could offer.

Con: Pacman is suspended indefinitely by the NFL, and no one has any idea when/if the league will lift it.
Pro: Being suspended would allow him more time and opportunities to implement the Pacman Jones “making it rain” economic stimulus package.

Con: Panman wouldn’t want to come to a losing situation in Detroit.
Pro: His mind could be changed by telling him 7 magic words. “The strippers in Windsor are totally nude.”

Con: Pacman was tied in with a 2nd tier pro wrestling promotion, Total Nonstop Action Wrestling, but wasn’t allowed to actually wrestle.
Pro: Pacman could wrestle with all the strippers he wanted in Detroit. There’s plenty of strip clubs along 8 Mile and across the border in Canada. Again, just use the magic words: “The strippers in Windsor are totally nude.”

Con: A known head case, Pacman could be a locker room cancer.
Pro: You can eliminate all the locker room lawyers, cancers and malcontents you want, it won’t make a difference if their replacements aren’t talented. For all his faults, you cannot deny Pacman Jones is extremely talented. When given a choice between talent or chemistry, give me talent every time. Even if that talent has a knack for finding trouble. Lots and lots of trouble.

Con: Pacman has been on a one way road to self-destruction since he left West Virginia.
Pro: It would be fun as all Hell to read the daily police reports. It would be a blogger’s field day!

Con: You can be sure Pacman will ultimately find himself in some sort of trouble. Likely damn big. It’s what he does.
Pro: The porn ‘stached goon himself, Matt Millen, once said “Every team needs a rat.” Well, Pacman would fit the rat bill to a T.

Con: He’s Pacman Jones.
Pro: Which makes him better than any defensive back on the Lions’ roster.