Detroit Lions vs St. Louis Rams: A Musical Recap

Earlier today my colleague Jeff Risdon put out a musical preview for today’s game. In keeping with that theme, and because I have no emotions left for the Detroit Lions in 2015, today’s recap will be a musical one with a Mike Payton flare. I’m going to maestro this thing by breaking it down by quarters. Let get started.

1st quarter

This game started out incredibly slow and boring. So boring that my wife who usually stays up for every Lions game, fell asleep during the beginning of the second quarter. Early on the only song that continued to play through my mind had to be an easy listening classic.

Are you still awake? The Lions just played about as uninspired as a team can possibly play. It’s was clear early on that the Lions were clearly not over the hail mary that put them down last week. They may never recover in 2015. The Lions defense however, appeared to be in control in the early going. Unfortunately that wouldn’t last long.

2nd quarter

The second quarter didn’t go any better than the first. It actually went worse. The Lions continued to struggle to get going on offense and got hit with yet another questionable penalty and Matthew Stafford threw a pick six to put the Rams on the board first. At this point I’m thinking could things get any worse? Then this oldie but goodie popped into my head.

Oh and it did get worse by the way.

3rd quarter

The Lions finally got on the board in the 3rd quarter. At the moment the Lions defense had controlled the Rams all day and it appeared as though the Lions were finally going to get something going and work towards a win that they really should have had. On the ensuing Rams drive Todd Gurley took over and put the Rams in front. Unspeakable destruction was the first thing that came to mind while watching the Lions defense implode in the third quarter.

The Lions had previously allowed less than 100 rushing yards per game in their last four games until Todd Gurley showed why he was so highly sought after in this past summers draft despite tearing his

ACL.

4th quarter

The Lions proceeded to do nothing in this game until it was too late. In any event Matthew Stafford took the Lions down the field and hit Golden Tate in the end zone to bring the game to 21-14. The Lions defense was set up beautifully with three time-outs and technically a fourth with the two minute warning. Thus the onside kick was really unnecessary in my opinion.

Then the Detroit Lions proceeded to once again make their fans go from feeling like this.

To then four plays later feel like this.

Obviously the Lions went on to lose the game in true Lions fashion. This loss and the Seahwaks win over the Ravens officially eliminates the Lions from playoff contention in 2015. So now Lions fans, all you have to do is get through three more games and this dreaded season is over.

Come January fourth there’s more than a good chance that the Lions will be dismissing Jim Caldwell and Sheldon White and starting what will be one of the most exciting offseason’s Lions fans may ever enjoy. Then you can cue this jam up in your kitchen and enjoy yourself over the summer.

Enjoy the rest of your day Lions fans. Stay tuned to SideLion Report this week for the conclusion of our Star wars series and a special piece about who the Lions should hire to be their next head coach.