Detroit Lions: The Empire Strikes Back


Now we move on to what is widely considered to be the best Star Wars film of the entire series. The Detroit Lions don’t have a whole lot in common with this film.

Or do they? In yesterday’s

A New Hope installment

we learned that the Lions have a strong presence of young up and coming talent. Today we learn about revelations. In the end isn’t that what Empire Strikes Back is all about?

Empire is all about searching the vast unknown and being shocked by what you uncover. You learn that Darth Vader is Luke’s father, you meet Boba Fett for the first time, Yoda is introduced and later foreshadows that there is another hope for the rebellion, and you see Han Solo frozen in carbonite. All revelations. Revelations that left you with more questions, but revelations nonetheless.

The Detroit Lions have had their own collection of revelations in 2015. Today  I’d like to compare the Lions discoveries to what we learned in the Empire Strikes Back.

The rise of Marth Vader

Easily one of the biggest revelations of the 2015 season has been the sudden seize of  control by Lions owner Martha Firestone Ford.

After a 1-7 start, all was quiet on the Lions front. When all of a sudden on a random Thursday in November, Marth Vader awoke from her slumber and ran through the front offices at Ford Field and started choking people out with her mind. SideLion Report had cameras in the building for Mayhew’s dismissal and Sheldon Whites appointing. Here is the never before seen exclusive footage.

Martha hasn’t made all the right moves just yet. But moving Mayhew out and finally ending the Millen reign of terror was the right move to start with. What other revelations does Marth Vader hold for Lions fans in the near future?

Boba Levy

First off I have to be honest. I wish I could take credit for this awesome comparison. The credit goes to a caller who called into ESPN 96.1 yesterday after I got off the air. He compared DeAndre Levy to Boba Fett in a remarkable manner. I’m paraphrasing here, but what the caller whose name was Joel said was ” DeAndre Levy is Boba Fett because he was only around for five minutes and he’s everyone’s favorite.”

Spot on Joel. It’s not to say that Levy is a bad player. We all know he’s not. We also know that Boba Fett is awesome. Of course if you forget about his debut on the Christmas special. Lions fans better hope Levy will be ready to go in 2016. Hopefully he doesn’t decide to visit the Sarlacc Pitt in the offseason.

Calvin in Carbonite

Nov 26, 2015; Detroit, MI, USA; Detroit Lions wide receiver Calvin Johnson (81) after the NFL game on Thanksgiving against the Philadelphia Eagles at Ford Field. Detroit won 45-14. Mandatory Credit: Tim Fuller-USA TODAY Sports

I’m going to take the long road to the point here on this one. During the filming of Empire Strikes Back in the spring of 1979, there were some complications that could have changed the face Star Wars as we know it today.

Originally Han Solo was supposed to escape from Cloud City unscathed instead of being frozen on carbonite. This was due to Harrison Ford not yet committing to return for a third film. George Lucas had to find a way to table Han Solo for the remainder of the film and possibly the series if Ford decided not to come back. But also wanted to leave the door open if he did. Hence the carbonite and the opening act of Jedi.

Lions fans now find themselves wondering if Calvin Johnson will be making his return for the Lions in 2016. Obviously one of the hottest rumors in town is the thought that the Lions should part ways with Calvin after the season. So at this point Calvin is frozen. Do you leave him in Jabba’s palace? Or save him in the opening act of the offseason? This writer believes that Calvin isn’t going anywhere.

Who is Yoda?

To end this piece I want to address a frequent question. Many have asked me who Yoda is in all of this? After a lot of thinking and soul searching, I came to the realization that he’s clearly Jim Caldwell.

I’ve got nothing against Yoda. I love the character. But we are talking about a guy that’s suppose to be training Luke to be Jedi. Then trains him for a week, says his training isn’t complete, lets him fight a losing battle with Vader, doesn’t talk to him for a year until he returns after saving Han. Then he tells him his training is complete and dies a minute later. Those kind of coaching decisions are clearly up Jim Caldwell’s alley.

That’s going to do it for today’s installment. Be sure to come back to SideLion report tomorrow for Return of The Jedi. Once again until then, may the force the be with you.