Detroit Lions smash the Kansas City Chiefs to pieces


I picked the Detroit Lions to beat the Kansas City Chiefs by 28 points. I guess I was selling them short because they pounded the Chiefs and won by 45. It tied the club record for most lopsided win since the 50’s. You do know that the lions won some titles in the 50’s? Just sayin’. The game was tight in the beginning until Rory the mascot took out Jamaal Charles on the sideline. That’s how BAD ASS the Lions are, don’t mess with the mascot!

It was a freakish injury that sidelined Charles, but would he have made much difference anyway? So they would have lost by only 38 points instead of 45. The first impressive thing I saw was when big, bad Titus Young, all of 165 pounds dripping wet, ripped apart Brandon Flowers’ jersey. A wide receiver did that, not Ndamukong Suh! Instead of a welcome-to-the-NFL-kid moment, it was Titus Young going Nuke Laloosh, and announcing his presence with authority. He also showed his moxie in snagging a 3rd and 24 catch for a first down.

The person who threw that ball is the STAR of the show. Matt Stafford was superb. You know it’s your day when you throw a god awful interception, and the other team gives it right back to you on the same play, as if to say, “Here kid, try again.” Stafford is already showing why he’ll probably be regarded as the best quarterback the Lions have ever had. I know Bobby Layne won 3 titles, but everybody knows he threw the worst ball in NFL history. I think the term “wounded duck” was invented to describe his passes.

I know they invented the term “Laser sharp” after seeing Dan Marino cut up the league in the 80’s, but Matthew Stafford is following in his footsteps. His passes are so fast, they look like blurs on my TV. They were so precise, they could cut diamonds. He really looks like a Number 1 draft pick. After some three and outs, Stafford moved the Lions down the field effortlessly. Once he got into a rhythm, he moved his troops like Sherman marching through Atlanta in the Civil War. They haven’t invented a throw yet that he can’t make. He has total command of this offense and is very comfortable calling plays at the line of scrimmage.

The best thing about Matt Stafford is he has major league SWAG. The untucked jersey helps, especially when it comes to throwing to Calvin Johnson. When they were in the red zone in the third quarter and Stafford’s first ball bounced off the giant S on Johnson’s chest, Stafford didn’t worry one bit. On the next play he just threw to Megatrons’ OTHER shoulder for a touchdown. We haven’t seen Matthew Stafford much due to his injuries in the last two years, but this must be what a franchise quarterback looks like.

The defense looked awesome. I know the Chiefs were frauds, but keeping any team to three points is something to crow about. The defensive backs are not looking too shabby. Chris Houston is averaging an interception a game. I’ll tell you what looks shabby, it’s the team that Scott Pioli has put together. We just saw the team that he put together get it’s ass kicked up and down Ford Field by the team that Martin Mayhew put together. 48-3 says it all. These teams were put together at the same time, after the 2008 season. When Mr. Ford went in search of a general manager, I, like a lot of people, was on my knees praying the he would hire Scott Pioli, after all, he learned under Bill Belichick–THE MASTER. Instead we got Matt Millen’s protage, Martin Mayhew.

I can just imagine if Mr. Ford is able to, health wise, that he’s got his feet up on his desk and puffing on a Cuban cigar today sporting a huge smile and thinking “How’s my decision look now?” Pretty damn good Mr. Ford, pretty damn good.