Rules For Calling Into Talk Radio

So, if you haven’t figured it out, I am a little bit of a sports junkie. As such, I have the unfortunate habit of being addicted to sports radio. Normally this soothes my drive home and provides valuable insight into wagering fantasy football tips. However, since I can’t handle the “Matthew Stafford is going to be a draft bust” and Michigan / MSU chatter that has been happening the last two weeks, I decided, as a public service to you, the sports fan, to set up eleven ground rules for calling into sports shows.

  1. Don’t ask the hosts how they are doing. They are at work, and their workday will be doing better if you just get to your point. Anything other than your name and your comment is wasting airtime.
  2. Turn your radio down.  You will be able to hear the hosts through your phone.  So turn your radio down.
  3. You don’t need to mention that you met the hosts at the ice cream social at Cheli’s Chili 3 years ago. Unless you look like Kate Upton, they probably won’t remember you anyway.
  4. Don’t tell the audience that your opinion is more intelligent because you have season tickets. It just means that you have more disposable income, and perhaps are more of a fan, but not that you are smarter.
  5. “First Time Long Time” was cool 8 years ago. It isn’t cool anymore.
  6. Don’t volunteer how old you are. No one cares.
  7. Be realistic. The Lions were not going to go 16-0. They are also were not going 0-16, which some people also predicted.
  8. Whenever possible bring facts. And real facts, not facts that you made up on the spot. Nothing is more annoying than when someone calls in with a statement that is blatantly untrue (“Matthew Stafford had a 23% completion percentage in college”). Google is a good website – feel free to use it.
  9. If you are going to call in on a player, be sure you know how to pronounce his name.
  10. Listen to the hosts. Your phone call is not a five minute soap box for you to preach from. State your comment; then listen to theirs. They might question some of your facts (see point 7) or ask you a rhetorical question to help elucidate your point. The host / hosts might even disagree with you. It doesn’t mean that they are stupid, arrogant, “homers’, racist or slappies. It just means they disagree with you.
  11. Remember, in the end, that they have the mute button, and you don’t. So don’t piss them off, try to sneak in a swear word, or talk over them. You will lose.

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Tags: Talk Radio

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