Who's the better Drunk, Culter or Orton... NEITHER! A CHALLENGER APPEARS!

so look here at beargoggles.com

jay-cutler-drinking-compilationThat’s Jay Cutler

Possibly, as it would be implied by the article and the pictures, under the influence.

now this:

ortonmontageOrton. Clearly under the influence as well pointed out in the pictures.

You can compare the two, obviously because of the trade and all. But…WHAT ABOUT THE GLORY?

Look dudes, I’m a Lions fan and we were 0-16, including that last handing over of the ass by the Bears in week 17.

But in this arena? WE GOTCHA. Got it? We win with our master challenger, Matt Stafford.

He has partied longer, he has partied harder and he has bagged WAYYYY hotter chicks.

My case and point:

matthew_stafford_2

win

matthew_stafford_3win +5

matthew_stafford_6-296x400So drunk that you need to hold onto the grass to keep from falling off of the Earth. WIN.

6-3moar win

OH, and here is his main squeeze before the Lions contract (she’s above on the left):

hall_k_9266_image002

Cutey Pie Au Naturel. But we have the technology…

After the draft:

That’s right ya’ll… After Market Accessories.

Right here and now I would like to point out how much I hate people that call them “Fake”.

They are not fake. They are right there. They are real. They are not philosophical huge breasts, they are in fact augmented, glorious orbs with which to gaze upon and are existing right here in reality for you to paw at like a hungry bear. Don’t call them fake. You make every man that loves taters die inside just a little bit, so seriously, shut up.

And let’s point out something about Matt Stafford that makes me warm and rubbery about him being on my team… Loyalty.

He didn’t scrap his car when he got the money. He upgraded it. He got that check and said, MAN I LOVE THIS THING, let’s trick it out with the DVD Navigation and premium sound system. It still steers awesome, I don’t need a new one, I just need to reupholster the seats! Good man. I’d want that guy in my corner when they pull the plug on me.

All fun aside, I’m liking Stafford more and more. Yeah, he laid a steaming pile on the field in Cleveland but he’s a newborn. We’re not going anywhere and we got him instead of Offensive line protection so screw it, start him and let’s see where it goes.

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