It’s Official: Culpepper is a Lion. For TWO YEARS?!? I think I Know Why

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Wat? Yeah, you read it right, this coaching staff just signed a 31 year old with robot legs to a 2 year contract.

What does this mean?! What the hell is going on at allen park? Does this mean that we’re sticking with this head coach and his staff?!? What is that going to mean to a prospective GM, you’re gonna tell this guy “hey, make it so we win but here’s all the ****ty players from last year that we couldn’t win damn game with, enjoy, mozeltov, good ****ing luck!”

This is outrageous.

*sigh*. I know that in the NFL, you play to win right now. Everything you do should be about getting that win. But come on Lions! Yes Stanton isn’t ready to play yet. I understand that. He’s basically a rookie, having taken no snaps last year and having two different quarterbacks coaches change his mechanics twice, he’s green. Orlovsky is a FedEx truck with a flat tire, he will not deliver and we see that too.

But WHY WHY WHY?
Here’s the only plausible reason I can think of besides clueless ineptitude mixed with hubris:

We need to do better than cincy. Not for pride. Not for valor. All because another number one or two overall pick will destroy our cap for the future. Why couldn’t Parcells dump off his no. 1 pick? Because NOBODY wants it. You can’t trade down in this league and the Lions are in a position to have half their salary cap tied up into four guys; Calvin, Redding and round 1 pick Lions and round 1 pick Cowboys. We can not afford to have a one win season and the team is simply that desperate in the wake of orlovsky showing us nothing.

Will the Culpepper move help? Take a look at that schedule and remeber that, although Dante put up some numbers with Randy Moss and Chris Carter (who wouldn’t), Culpepper is also an electrofied, steam powered turnover machine. You aren’t going to beat the Colts or the Jaguars with a qb prone to fumbles, picks and sloppy execution. This guy is not a savior… If he couldn’t help the crappy Dolphins, what can he do for the crappy Lions?