Who needs a Super Bowl ring? Not the Detroit Lions!

It being the first day of NFL training camp, when hope runs anew for NFL bottom dwellers, I got to thinking about the title chances of the team we love to hate, the Detroit Lions. To be honest, it was a very short, fleeting thought, as they have no chance. None whatsoever.

Which means no finger bling for another year.

One of the perks of playing for a title winning team is the gaudy, solid gold or platinum, diamond encrusted championship ring that comes along with a title. Unfortunately, for members of the Detroit Lions, championship rings are out of the question. As is retaining their dignity, sense of self-worth and love for anything pertaining to football…but that’s another post.

As winning a ring is only a pipe dream for the Lions, I’ve found there is another option.

For those players, and for that matter, wannabe fans, who feel their life is incomplete without a ring…any ring…the Danbury Mint has come to their rescue.

Why have this gaudy ass piece of pretentious crap…

When you could have the…

“Detroit Lions Team Ring!”

You don’t have to win the NFC or even the Super Bowl to get one of these.  To get the same feeling players on franchises like the Giants and Patriots had to work their asses off to win, a Lion (or wannabe fan) only needs $99 (and $9 S&H, of course). Though his auto company is losing billions upon billions of dollars, and his stock is tanking, even William Clay Ford could afford one!

Even better, it’s not made of fine jewels and precious metals. It’s made of pure unadulterated brass and lavishly electroplated with not-so-precious rhodium. Easy to care for, cheap to insure and as classy as…well, something classy!

Who wants a massive Super Bowl ring weighing down your hand when you could have an understated brass ring with the always intimidating Bubbles the Lion showing his stuff on top?

Who? The Detroit Lions, that’s who!