The Lions new rallying cry: You can never have enough safeties!

05 Mar

Matt Millen has apparently moved on from his need to sign every wide receiver under the sun. That’s great! But…when you are talking Lions, there’s always a but…the moron has developed another position fetish.

Safety. Yes, safety.

With today’s announcement of Buccaneers (don’t get me started on all the former Tampa players being brought in) safety Kalvin Pearson being signed to an offer sheet (3 years for $3.5 million), if Tampa doesn’t match, Detroit would have 7, count ‘em, 7, safeties on their roster.

Kalvin Pearson
Dwight Smith: Signed an expensive free agent deal a week ago
Kenoy Kennedy: Signed as a big money free agent in 2005
Daniel Bullocks: 2nd round pick in 2006
Gerald Alexander: 2nd round pick in 2007
Patrick Body: 2007 free agent
Greg “You’re my boy” Blue: 2007 free agent

For you readers, what follows is a personal message to the Lions GM. Feel free to skip the next paragraph… (I know, it’s not very likely Millen reads SLR, as we all know the Lions’ GM is an illiterate, porn ’stached goon. But a lackey may be patrolling the web for more available safeties, and surf across SLR. Mr. Millen Lackey, please forward the next paragraph to your moronic boss, OK?)

Matt, let me run something by you. In most every defense known to man, only two safeties are on the field the VAST majority of the time. Not 5. Not 6. Definitely not 7. Just 2. That’s all. For that matter, Matt, only 2 backups are needed. The Tampa Two doesn’t require 7 safeties on the field, or on the roster! Thank you for your time. Fire Millen!

But I digress. Back to the questions at hand…

So why the sudden interest in inking every free agent who’s ever played safety? Isn’t cornerback a bigger need? By signing these free agents, aren’t the Lions saying they wasted 2nd round picks the last 2 years? That the money spent on Kenoy Kennedy was a mistake?

I don’t have the answers. I often wonder if the Lions even know the questions, let alone the answers.

Hell, when it comes to the Lions, there’s always more questions than answers. I’ll just fall back on my old standby. Why 7 safeties? Why not? It’s “Lions Logic!”